Communication Is Key

We’ve talked about knowing when to speak, but it’s just as important to know how to speak to our spouse. Communication consists of more than just words; little things make a big difference! Voice tone, facial expressions, and body language reinforce the emphasis we place on what we say.

We can say all the right things but send a completely different message by how we roll our eyes or emphasize certain words. In fact, I was pretty much a professional at it. I’m sure you can relate!

Working through things with your spouse is a natural part of life. There are times when we will need to discuss something that was said or done or talk through a situation where we’re not seeing eye to eye. But how we do it makes all the difference!

Again, I encourage you to form a habit of asking the Lord what you should do. The key to improvement is to learn to bring up an issue when God says...and leave an issue alone when He says to leave it alone.

When I’m having a hard time agreeing with Dave and need to talk things out, there are a few things I try to do to maintain the right attitude. I encourage you to try them yourself:

• Pray about what to say and ask God to lead you in each conversation.
• Be respectful, even if they don’t agree with your opinion.
• Listen with an open mind. Be willing to pray about what they say.
• Keep looking for things to agree about, instead of focusing on your differences.
• Use positive body language and voice tones.
• Choose every word with care! Hasty words spoken without giving any thought to them often cause tremendous trouble. Ecclesiastes 5:2 says, Be not rash with your mouth, and let not your heart be hasty to utter a word before God…(AMPC).

In all of your communication with your spouse, I think it’s good to ask yourself, Am I doing this in love? What are my motives? Am I looking for resolution...or am I really just trying to “win”?

The Bible says that love covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8). If our motives are right and our spouse can really tell our desire is to walk in love, it goes a long way! Even if you don’t do or say everything right, a loving attitude can make up the difference.

I encourage you to ask the Lord to help you become a better communicator. Ask for His guidance and direction to know not only when to speak, but how to speak in love.

With the help of the Holy Spirit, you can learn to communicate in a loving way that will strengthen every single part of your marriage.