Put the Scorecard Away

This verse is so practical! It says that love forgives—it does not hold a grudge or “keep score” of other people’s mistakes. It isn’t touchy or easily offended. Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who is “touchy” and gets their feelings hurt about everything? It’s not enjoyable, and soon you begin looking for ways to avoid them.

You see, all of us have many opportunities every day to get offended, and each time we must make a choice. However, if we always choose to live by our feelings, we won’t walk in love.

I once read that when people hurt our feelings, it is almost never what they intended to do. We always assume people are attacking us, while the truth is, it may have never even crossed their mind.

But here’s the danger: If we don’t forgive quickly—if we allow ourselves to stay offended and keep records of how others have hurt us—sooner or later the list will get so long that we can no longer be in relationships with those people.

In the early years of our marriage, I was definitely a “scorekeeper.” Each time my husband, Dave, and I got into an argument I would bring up everything he had ever done to displease me since day one. It absolutely amazed him. Dave would say, “Where do keep all of that information? I can’t even remember that!”

Because I was unable to simply forgive and let go of the offense, I kept it in me, meditating on it regularly. I kept a mental scorecard, always tallying the things Dave did to hurt me. As a result, I had quick recall when I needed some ammunition to make him feel bad.

But the truth is, I was harming our relationship. I wasn’t only upsetting Dave, but I was poisoning myself. The bitterness I was holding inside was making my life bitter, my attitude bitter, and my thoughts and words bitter.

I love what Mark 11:25 tells us to do when we get offended. Jesus says to “Drop it, leave it, and let it go.” And it’s important to forgive quickly, because the quicker we do it, the easier it is. A weed that has deep roots is harder to pull than one that has just sprung up!

So, when your spouse hurts your feelings or offends you, I encourage you to put the scorecard away. If it’s a situation that needs to be discussed for the health of your marriage, then approach them in love and talk things out.

But in the end, I encourage you to drop it, leave it, and let it go. It will work wonders for your relationship, and you will enjoy your life so much more in the process.