The Truth About Hope: Their Stories

Hope is such a big word in the Bible. First Peter 1:3 says that the hope God gives is “ever-living”; it cannot perish and it’s always ours as believers in Christ! This means that in the worst kind of tragedy…the worst kind of pain, we have the great privilege of believing Jesus can redeem it all, and something good can happen in our lives again.

This message is vitally important because many people are hurting and desperate. Sadly, when all hope is gone, suicide can become a tragic answer to their pain.

In the following stories, you’ll read about Julieta’s battle with depression and suicidal thoughts, and how Kay Warren and her family faced the devastating pain of losing someone they love to suicide. My prayer is you’ll discover the truth about how God’s love is the answer for every hurt and problem you’ll ever have. Jesus loves YOU!

Truth That Set Her Free

Early in her life, Julieta experienced the life-threatening damage that lies can cause. Her father was an angry man who had severe problems with alcoholism due to hurts from his own childhood. As a result, he didn’t know how to love and nurture his daughter.

“He didn’t know how to talk to me or say good things about me,” Julieta says. “He used to say I wasn’t born because he wanted it, I wasn’t worthy of his love…I wasn’t capable of doing anything…I wasn’t pretty. Things like that.”

This destructive beginning led Julieta to believe she wasn’t worthy of love and she couldn’t do anything right or help others. As the oppression of rejection grew in her mind, she lost her sense of purpose and came to believe she would never be happy with her life.

This crushing loss of self-worth led her to attempt suicide. But God had a different plan for Julieta.

Through studying the Bible, she’s discovered God’s love and truth, she’s been rescued from the lies that have tried to take her life. And over the last few years, she’s come to see that all those things her father once said aren’t really true.

Julieta is no longer dominated by depression and suicidal thoughts, and she firmly believes the truth: “God told me I’m His beloved child, and He has a plan for my life. It’s so beautiful when you come to realize you are really unconditionally loved!”

Learning to Hope Again

Kay Warren and her husband, Pastor Rick Warren, understand the devastating pain of losing a child to suicide. She shares her story to help those who need the comfort and encouragement only God can give.

Joyce: Kay, tell us about your son Matthew and his battle with mental illness.

Kay: Matthew was 27 when he died. He was the third of our children, and we knew he was different from the time he was a toddler. But it never occurred to us that he could have a mental illness because we didn’t know children could have such a thing.

When he was seven years old, he was diagnosed with depression, and then from there it went to bipolar disorder, to OCD, to major depressive to suicidal ideation. He lived with torment for about 20 years until he hit that wall of mental illness for the last time on April 5, 2013, and took his life. It was the worst day of our lives.

In spite of the fact that he lived with a very tortured mind and difficult life situations, he was so funny, creative and compassionate. Even when Matthew was suffering, he would reach out for the person in the room who was having a hard time and offer a kind word.

After he died, many people sent me letters about encounters they had had with him.

Joyce: There are many people who have lost someone to suicide. How did you move forward in the aftermath of your situation?

Kay: One of the main things I’ve learned through my experience is you don’t get over it, you get through it. You move through it, and you discover over time that life can be good again. But grieving is the hardest work I’ve ever done.

With suicide, we were instantly thrust into this world of unanswered questions: Why? I was able to talk him off the ledge hundreds of times before…why couldn’t I do it that night? Did he suffer? Will we ever know all the reasons he did it that day? Is there something we should have done?

It comes with guilt…trauma…and isolation. And it’s exhausting.

Joyce: Did it make it harder for you to go through this as the wife of a well-known pastor of a large church?

Kay: Yes, in the sense that Matthew’s death was a scrolling headline on the news. So people knew about it almost immediately, and there was no chance for privacy to grieve.

It wasn’t the way we would have chosen to grieve, but we prayed for God to use our grief and suffering to show others how you live through something as devastating as this…how you keep trusting God in the face of your worst nightmare coming true. And how you rebuild hope.

Joyce: That’s one of the most redemptive things a person can do: Take the pain to God and not only ask Him to heal you but to use it to help somebody else. That not only helps you, but it overcomes the enemy’s plan to destroy you, and you end up being able to help other people.

Kay: Yes, I believe that’s part of what God promises when He says He will give you beauty instead of ashes (see Isaiah 61:3). There is healing over time, and part of the beauty is knowing you can help others…give them courage to face their hard times.

Every time I tell Matthew’s story, it’s painful, but it’s also part of the healing process to talk about how God is with us. And He can comfort others in their suffering.

People have said to me, “Hearing your story, that you’ve not walked away from God, it makes me feel like I can do this in my life with my pain.”

Joyce: God never promises we won’t have pain, but when we have unanswered questions, it’s sometimes tempting to turn away from Him.

Kay: The only safe place is the embrace of Jesus. For me, it’s been about struggling in His embrace, letting out all my doubts, anger, confusion and the disappointment that God didn’t heal Matthew here.

We can beat our fists on His chest…we can cry, moan and scream if we need to. Jesus can handle all of our pain, questions and confusion. So I made the choice to run to Him, not away from Him.

Joyce: God really is THE answer to all of our pain and problems. And no matter how you feel or what you’ve been through, God loves you and He has a good plan for your life!

If you’re contemplating suicide or suffering with the pain of loss or despair that’s destroyed your hope, we’re here for you. Right now, you can reach out for help by visiting joycemeyer.org/HopeForLife. You’ll find phone numbers to call for support, a free download of Overcoming Depression, and you can share your prayer request so we can believe with you for God’s love and healing to restore your soul.

The truth is, you’re not alone in this struggle! God loves you more than you can ever know, and He’s always with you. We love you, too.