A Major Key to Happiness: The Secret That Rescued Me from a Life of Misery

I used to be a selfish, self-centered person, always thinking about how I could get my way. And I was miserable. I loved God and wanted to love people, but no matter how hard I tried to be sweet and nice to everybody, all of my trying was getting me nowhere. I was cranky, hard to get along with and impatient.

I remember praying for God to help me understand what was causing me to be so unhappy. He showed me that the problem was selfishness and that I needed to learn to love others the way He loves them if I wanted to really enjoy my life.

As I spent time seriously studying what the Word of God says about love and praying for Him to help me love others, I began experiencing a much deeper desire in my heart to share God’s love. I’ve discovered that helping to make someone else’s life better has made me the happiest I’ve ever been. The truth is, you can’t be happy if the center of your life is you!

It's About Others, Not “What About Me?!”

In John 13:34-35, Jesus says, A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another (NIV). And Matthew 22:37-38 says, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself (ESV).

The love message is the power of the Gospel. It’s so simple: Love God and your neighbor as you love yourself. First, we need to experience God’s love for us and then we can reach out and share it with someone else. The world is desperate for real love, so it isn’t hard to find someone who needs to be loved. 

We live in a society that drives people to selfishness. So much of the advertising we see and hear influences us to want more and more and to never be satisfied with what we have. But the more selfish and self-centered we are, the less power we have to do good and help others.

The good news is we have what we need in Christ to overcome a selfish “What about me?!” attitude. We have the power of God’s love! It’s the answer to every dilemma and problem in our society today.

The Truth About True Love

Love is not just a feeling, or a theory, or a nice word. It’s an action—it’s the way you treat people…what you do for others. Love will always cost you something: time, energy, effort, money, giving up your pride, doing what’s right when you don’t feel like it, or keeping a good attitude when you don’t get your way.

Loving the way God loves means you love when there’s nothing in it for you; it’s all about giving and not expecting anything in return. We’re called to outreach, not in-reach. Real love is about dying to self and living to love others.

Before you can love others, you have to experience God’s love in your own life, because you can’t give away something you don’t have. Then you have to be willing to ask God to teach you to love the way He loves. When you do this, God will enable you to reach out and help someone else. I know this works because I’ve lived it.

Get the Right Mindset

The world is full of lonely, hurting people who are hungry for the love of God and the hope that is only found in Jesus. I want to encourage you to get rid of a “What about me?” mindset and instead pray, “God, show me someone who needs a blessing. Show me someone I can help.”

We all have room to grow in our relationship with God, and learning how to reach out to others is a big part of that process. Being selfish and always trying to meet your own needs puts you in a position of weakness. But the more you trust God to meet your needs, the more you’ll be free to help others…and the happier you’ll be.

Imagine how different the world would be if everyone would just do one nice thing to help someone else every day. It can be so simple to put a smile on someone’s face. Give a compliment, give something away, take the time to listen, open a door for someone, let someone go before you in line at the store…the list could go on and on.

Make it your business to regularly reach out to people around you, encouraging them and meeting their needs as you are able to do it. Be determined each day to do at least one thing for someone else that makes their life better. Trust me: You’ll discover that loving others is the key to increasing happiness in your everyday life!