I used to be terribly insecure. When I wasn’t trying to get people to be like me, I was feeling bad about myself and spending all of my time trying to be like them.
Years ago I struggled badly with comparisons because of this insecurity. Because if we are not secure in our own worth and value as individuals, we will find ourselves competing with our friends instead of loving them.
I have a bold, take-charge, decisive personality—it’s actually a gift that God has given me to help fulfill His call on my life. Yet, for years I absolutely hated my personality. I constantly compared myself to my pastor’s wife, who was so gentle, sweet, and nice to everyone. Why couldn’t I be more like her?
I also compared myself to my neighbor, an amazing homemaker who grew her own vegetables in her backyard and sewed all of her family’s clothes. I thought I should be doing that, too.
Dave and I still laugh about the pair of shorts I made for him—the pockets were longer than the shorts themselves! Needless to say, he never wore them.
The bottom line is the more I focused on comparing myself to other people, the more miserable I became!
Prioritize Self-Acceptance
God didn’t create me to be exactly like them—He created me to be me. When I finally learned to love and value myself the way God does, it changed everything.
Now, I still needed to change. Back then, I could be too aggressive, harsh, and abrasive. I desperately required God’s help to develop the fruit of the Spirit in my life—especially qualities like kindness, gentleness, and meekness. However, God wanted me to become the best version of me, not someone else. He wanted me to embrace the things that make me different and get comfortable just being myself.
Isn’t it nice to be around people who are secure and comfortable with themselves? People who don’t always need to be complimented or propped up in order to feel like everything’s okay?
When we are secure in Christ—when we understand our worth and value in Him—it gives us confidence to be ourselves. We end up loving ourselves, which makes it easier for others to love us as well.
God Broke the Mold
President Theodore Roosevelt said, Comparison is the thief of joy.
I agree wholeheartedly. In fact, if we are always looking at others and measuring ourselves against someone else, we can never truly become the masterpiece God created us to be.
My husband, Dave, is one of the most joyful and content people I know. But years ago, when I first began to teach, he struggled with it for a time and asked God, “Lord, why didn’t You give me the ability to teach?”
One day soon after, God spoke to his heart and said, “If you allow Joyce to do this, and if you do what I am calling you to do, then My joy, My peace, and My grace will always be on you.”
The truth is, without Dave doing his part, there wouldn’t be a Joyce Meyer Ministries. He is a cornerstone of this organization, and his wisdom, stewardship, and financial expertise have helped to build this ministry into what it is today.
You see, God has given each of us specific gifts and talents, and if we try to be something we’re not, it will only make us miserable. There’s so much joy and freedom in being ourselves and also allowing others to be themselves.
Your Unique Purpose and Plan
God made you an original, and He has a unique plan just for you. Comparing yourself to others just leads to frustration. But having the confidence and freedom to be yourself leads to peace and joy.
Take a few moments to read this passage from Psalm 139:13-18:
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you (ESV).
God loves you, and He had a good plan for your life before you were ever born. And just think of this: There’s no one on this earth who can fulfill that plan but you.
Remember, God thinks you are wonderful, and it’s important to see yourself the way He sees you. I encourage you to not spend too much time focusing on your faults and weaknesses or comparing yourself with others. Instead, spend time in God’s Word and allow Him to show you how special you really are.
As you begin to focus on what God thinks about you, you will be so much happier, and you will learn to truly love the person He created you to be.
