The Role of Intimacy and Sex in Your Marriage

When the topic of sex is brought up in church, it’s not uncommon for the congregation to go suddenly still or to hear people begin to laugh and giggle. People get very uncomfortable when the subject of sex is mentioned, yet cultivating intimacy is one of the most important keys to enjoying a successful marriage.

In fact, I believe it’s a subject we should discuss more often if we want to have a proper, biblical understanding of the topic. It’s a big part of life, and it affects people in so many ways. It’s actually quite common for us to receive questions about sex when people call or email our office—it’s something that affects them physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, and it has a major impact on their relationships.

First of all, sex was created by God as a beautiful thing to be shared between a husband and wife. He places in each one of us a special desire for intimacy with our spouse, and it’s meant to be a powerful part of the marriage relationship (see Genesis 3:16).

Our enemy, Satan, attempts to pervert this precious thing God has created. He wants people to view sex as wrong and dirty, and he tries to steal the joy and intimacy it can bring (see John 10:10).

For instance, coming from an abusive background, my own understanding of sexuality was distorted. When it was time to come together with my husband Dave in an intimate way, it was very difficult for me. Buried in the back of my mind was the thought, This whole act is not right. I refused to leave any lights on, and I couldn’t even open my eyes. I had real problems because of the way I had been treated before I married Dave.

As I prayed and sought God’s help, He slowly but surely began to help me view intimacy and sex for what He created it to be—a loving act between me and my husband that strengthens our bond. And with time—and Dave’s incredible patience and kindness—God healed my emotional wounds from the past and brought me into a new place of freedom where I could truly enjoy our sexual relationship. 

God taught me that He designed sex to be holy, fun and wholesome! It brings two people into a closeness that cannot be found in any other way except through a right relationship in a marriage union.

Think about it: If Satan works so hard at perverting something, it’s because he knows how much power there is in cultivating a good sex life. He knows what the Word says. He heard Jesus say, “Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.” (Matthew 18:19 NIV).

Agreement is a powerful weapon of spiritual warfare against the enemy! Two people who are in agreement can cause miracles to happen. If a husband and wife are in agreement, Satan comprehends the damage they could do to his own plan.

Developing a more intimate relationship with your marriage partner is more powerful than you may know. Because intimacy brings unity…and unity with your spouse is one of the foundational building blocks of your marriage.

You may also enjoy Answering Common Questions about Sex & Intimacy.