How to Be Your True Self

Let me ask you a question: Do you love yourself? Now, I’m not talking about loving yourself in a selfish or self-centered way, but loving the unique you that God created you to be.

Just think about this for a while. You never get away from yourself for one second of your life. Anywhere you go, there you are! Remember how miserable you felt the last time you spent a few hours with someone you really don’t enjoy? The same principle applies to your relationship with yourself. If you don’t like yourself—the one person you’re always with—you’re destined for a life of misery. But when you love yourself, you’re able to enjoy your life.

To love yourself is to accept the unconditional love of God with your whole heart, to see yourself as He sees you, and to rejoice and be at peace with who He has created you to be: chosen, royal, holy and special (see 1 Peter 2:9 NIV). This healthy self-love is not based on what you do right or wrong, but on who you are as God’s child. When you don’t know who you are in Christ, you’re not able to see or love yourself the way He does, or even be your true self. Instead, you’re at the mercy of others’ opinions and constantly feeling inadequate and inferior, wishing you could be like someone else.

Relax and Be Who You Are

 For a long time, I tried to be like so many people that I lost myself. I was stuck in this vicious cycle, and let me tell you, it is a miserable way to do life.

Because I was abused sexually by my father, I always felt something was wrong with me. That negative feeling drove me to try to be like other people I admired or thought I “should” be like. I tried to be like my husband, who is the exact opposite of me. I tried to be like my pastor’s wife, who was also the opposite of me. And I tried to be like a friend who had talents I didn’t have.

In fact, if anyone even suggested that I do something differently than the way I was doing it, I immediately felt pressure to change. Even if they weren’t trying to pressure me, the very idea that they didn’t approve of what I was doing was enough to throw me into a panic.

Years later, after I was married and had children, I had a good friend who visited my house often. At times, she sat and talked with me while I did my ironing (yes, people once ironed all their clothes). One day she asked, “Why do you start with the collar of a shirt when you iron? I always start with the body.”

My friend was simply making a comment, but from then on, when she was at my house and I was ironing, I started with the body of the shirt. I did what I thought would gain her approval instead of ironing the way that was comfortable for me. The funny thing is, she probably didn’t even notice how I was ironing after her initial comment, so all my effort was wasted.

I spent many frustrating years as a Christian trying to please others and failing until the Lord showed me that my problem was that I had never truly received His love for me.

After receiving this revelation, I spent one year studying, meditating on, and confessing aloud God’s love for me. At that time, I had a 40 year history of not liking myself, let alone loving myself, so renewing my mind in this area took time. At first, I felt guilty trying to love myself because I was keenly aware of my flaws, but eventually I learned that I could love who I am without loving everything I do. We can all work with God toward positive change in our behavior without rejecting ourselves or viewing ourselves as a failure because of our imperfections.

People around us may be quick to point out our faults and quirks, and our enemy, the devil, certainly reminds us of them. But we don’t have to believe everything we hear. We should compare what we believe with God’s Word to see if it is true or not. God created each of us, and according to Psalm 139, He did it very carefully. God doesn’t make mistakes, and all of His works are wonderful. That means you are wonderful!

Let’s take a look at the psalmist, David, who went through a huge test of his own authenticity right before he faced Goliath in battle.

Stay True to Your Design

First Samuel 17 tells the story of how the Israelite army faced a giant named Goliath, champion of the mighty Philistines. However, when Goliath came out to fight, the Israelite soldiers were terrified and young David was the only one willing to go to battle (see 1 Samuel 17:1–11, 16).

It took some convincing, but when King Saul finally agreed to let him fight the giant, he dressed David in his own tunic and armor, and put a bronze helmet on his head. However, David quickly realized he couldn’t go to battle dressed in someone else’s armor because he wasn’t used to it. In fact, he couldn’t even move in it. He took off Saul’s armor, grabbed his shepherd’s staff, and gathered five smooth stones and a slingshot. Armed with only those familiar items, he approached the giant (see 1 Samuel 17:37–40).

When Goliath made fun of David, trying to intimidate him, David responded with a knowing that God would give him victory over the giant (see 1 Samuel 17:41–45). Young David then went on to do what no one thought he could do. The slingshot Goliath had once laughed at launched a single stone that struck and killed him, and the Israelites defeated the Philistines that day (see 1 Samuel 17:46–51).

David defeated Goliath, but he had to be true to himself in order to do so. Had he tried to go to battle in Saul’s armor, he wouldn’t have been able to use the weapons he was familiar with. His ways may have been unusual to others, but they worked because God was with him. And the same is true for you and me.

Always remember that you cannot defeat your Goliath with Saul’s armor on. You cannot use someone else’s abilities, personality, or resources to accomplish what you need to do—you must be true to you. Learning to be yourself is essential for any kind of victory in your life. Others may not understand your uniqueness, but God does, and that is all that matters.

You have so much to give to the world, and now is the time to begin doing it. It is a new day, a new beginning for you, if you’re ready to embrace it. You are God’s beloved, and He has great plans for you, so tighten your seat belt and get ready for the journey toward authenticity.

Adapted from the book Authentically, Uniquely You  by Joyce Meyer. Copyright 2021 by Joyce Meyer. Published by FaithWords. All rights reserved.