The Burden of a Guilty Conscience

There are some things you should keep between you and God, but some things must be brought out into the open. I have an example from my own life that may be helpful. When I was twenty years old—and that was a long time ago—I stole money from a company I worked for. The man I was married to at the time was a petty thief, and he convinced me to write some payroll checks since I was the payroll clerk, and we would cash them and quickly get out of town. I am not blaming him because I should have said no, but there are times in life when we let people we love talk us into things that go against our consciences. When we do, it always ends up badly.

We did cash the checks and leave town, but eventually we came back, and sure enough there was an ongoing investigation about the stolen money. I was questioned, told more lies, and escaped being accused of the crime. My husband cheated on me with other women, stole property, and eventually was arrested and went to prison. We got a divorce, and many years later, married to someone else and about to enter the ministry, I knew that I had to go to the company I’d stolen from, admit my theft, and pay back the money. Wow! What if they had me arrested? I was so frightened, but I knew I had to obey God. I could not go forward until that thing from my past was confronted.

I went to the company and explained what I had done and that I was now a Christian and wanted to ask their forgiveness and pay back the money. They graciously let me do so, and I was set free from the nagging fear that someday I might get caught. I am convinced that if I had not obeyed God, I would not be in ministry today. God is willing to forgive us for anything, but we must confess it and make restitution wherever possible.

Prayer of the Day: Lord, help me confront my past, seek forgiveness, and make things right, no matter how I might feel about the situation. Grant me courage to face difficult truths and walk in Your forgiveness and grace, amen.